literature

A Brilliant Plan

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Tigress came into the kitchen, knowing she would more than likely find Po. Master Shifu was awaiting them all for their usual afternoon training and Po was the only one that hadn't shown up yet. As she expected, he was there. He was standing in front of a boiling pot of water with a bag of rice in one of his hands.

"Po, what are you doing?" He jumped a little, startled by her sudden presence, but quickly realized who it was.

"Whoa, you really enjoy doing that prowling thing don't you?" he said turning around to look at her. She smirked slightly, betraying that she did take some pride in being able to prowl silently. "I just thought I'd cook a little snack before training and…"

"Training is now," she cut him off.

"What? Training is…now?" Po brought his hand to his face, feeling like an idiot as he did. "Really? I could have sworn there was at least like thirty minutes left before Shifu wanted us. Man, he's going to kill me for being late again."

"Maybe not kill you," Tigress had her own droll sense of humor and sarcasm and found the idea slightly amusing. "But he won't take it easy on you either," she added more seriously. "This isn't the first time after all. You've been late before because of your growling stomach."

As if on cue, it rumbled much to Po's embarrassment. However, Tigress only looked at it and then back to him with a soft, understanding smile. "I guess it'll just have to wait," Po sighed in defeat.

"Come on, Dragon Warrior. It'll be over before you know it," Tigress teased, although it was hard to tell it was teasing by her tone, as she turned back around and started for the door.

"Unless," Po's addendum stopped her in her tracks.

"Unless what?" Tigress' ears twitched as she made out a familiar sound behind her and turned quickly to see what the panda was up to. What she saw was Po consuming the bag of uncooked rice. Her eyes widened. "Po, what are you doing?"

"I just…came up…with a brilliant…plan," he said between bites.

"What? How is eating raw rice a brilliant plan? It's not good for you. Didn't your father ever teach you that?" She cocked her head back questioningly.

Po held up a finger, finished eating the contents of the bag, and then throwing the bag aside answered, "But that's just it. It's not going to be uncooked."

Tigress closed her eyes and brought a hand to her forehead in frustration. "Really, Po, what do you mean it's not going to be…" she had removed her hand and opened her eyes to look at him only to be faced with an even more disturbing picture than before. "Po, stop!" She lunged at him, but it was too late. The sound of clinking metal against the floor was heard and Po fell to his knees on the floor, with a loud thud, holding his throat in pain as he did. Tigress couldn't believe his brilliant plan had been to drink boiling water in an attempt to cook the uncooked rice he'd consumed previously. "Po, are you alright?" she dropped down beside him, the pain evident on his face as he shook his head no. She saw burn marks on his lips. "Let me see," she forced him to open his mouth so that she could assess the damage further. Just as she feared, she could make out several more burns on the inside. "Stay here and don't do anything," she growled the last part forcefully before running out of the living quarters as quickly as she could.

"Ah, here she comes," Shifu sensed Tigress coming and he turned to greet her, the others following suit. However, they were greeted not by Tigress and Po as they expected, but a frantic Tigress as she skidded to a stop in front of Shifu and stood to her feet. "What is it? Where's Po?" Shifu's ears were instinctively twitching, trying to sense what was going on.

"Master," Tigress bowed out of habit, but it was a hurried bow and her voice was filled with alarm and not respect. "Po is hurt," she said quickly and the other members of the Five gasped. "He drank boiling water. From what I could see his throat is filled with burns," she relayed the message as much to the point as possible. There was no time to explain why the buffoon of a panda had managed to drink boiling water in the first place.

Of course, it didn't stop the others from looking at each other in confusion and Shifu pondering aloud, "Boiling water?" Tigress nodded and Shifu regained his composure. "Mantis, go alert the healer," he instructed and Mantis was gone before they could blink. "Come," he instructed the rest as they followed Tigress' quick pace back to the kitchen.

Thankfully, Po had heeded Tigress' instruction and was still where she left him. His hands were still over his throat and tears brimmed in his eyes. "Master," Po attempted to say as he spotted Shifu. However, it came out silent. They could only read the word on his lips. Tigress and the others immediately looked at each other with shared concern.

"Don't try to speak," Shifu chastised. While it was alarming to the others that Po couldn't speak, it was something Shifu had expected. "But, honestly, Po, what were you thinking? Drinking boiling water? What could possibly lead you to do such a ridiculous, foolish, no, that's not even adequate, absolutely moronic thing like that?" Po's eyes widened in obvious shame and embarrassment. He looked at Tigress as did Shifu and the others, all of them waiting on her for an explanation.

"Oh, uh," Tigress wasn't too keen on being put on the spot, especially not when the logical part of her that told her to tell Shifu the truth warred with the illogical part of her that told her to not betray her budding friendship with Po. "He…was…hungry, but I came to get him and he knew he didn't have time so…"

"So…?" Shifu eyed his pupil incredulously, not sure the last time he'd seen her parted from her usual to the point manner.

"So…he went to drink some water instead, but forgot that he had been boiling it for some rice," she finally spit out, her voice surprisingly calm and convincing in spite of her inner thoughts.

Shifu looked back at the presently mute panda whose eyes were even wider than before. "Is that what happened?" Po, who had been staring at Tigress, saw her tilt her head a little as a warning. He quickly looked at Shifu and nodded. This was followed by a loud sigh from Shifu. "What am I going to do with you, Po? Both of you apparently," he eyed Tigress warily. "You didn't realize the water was hot either?"

"I'm sorry, Master," Tigress hung her head slightly.

"It's not your fault, I guess," Shifu relented. It was a conversation that would have had to been dropped regardless since Mantis returned with the village Soothsayer, who was also the healer, on his heel a few moments later.

After a somewhat lengthy examination and treatment period, the Soothsayer came out into the hall where Shifu and the Five waited. "He will be fine. No permanent damage. He's lucky the burns aren't worse though. I guess that's why he's the Dragon Warrior," the Soothsayer mused before continuing. "You must make sure he doesn't try to talk for awhile. Even when his voice seems like it's coming back, any premature strain will just lengthen the healing process. He needs to rest it fully for a week at least. Daily acupuncture and the medicine I've given him is also a must. I will check him again when the week is up. I told him all of this, but patients rarely heed my instruction without careful watch."

"We will make sure he does," Shifu bowed to the Soothsayer respectfully. "What about eating?" Shifu suddenly pondered as he rose back to an upright position.

The Soothsayer laughed a little, understanding well by now Po's love of food from working with Shifu and the warriors on occasion. "That should prove difficult. His meals should be small and only when necessary. Nothing too warm."

"Well, this should be fun," Shifu said unenthusiastically as he and the others followed the Soothsayer outside.

All followed, that is, except Tigress who instead quietly returned to the kitchen to find a despondent looking Po sitting at the table. Shutting the door behind her, she walked over and sat down beside him. "One week without talking and little food?" Her lips curled up into a wry smile. "You're right, Po. That was a brilliant plan."

Po gave her an annoyed look as he placed his elbows on the table and rested his head in between his hands. However, this frustrated look didn't last long as he quickly shot back up and looked at her deliberately. He raised an eyebrow and Tigress could guess his question.

"Why didn't I say anything to Shifu?" He nodded to let her know it was what he had been thinking. She didn't answer at first. She wasn't quite sure how to answer. She wasn't entirely sure why she had chosen loyalty to Po over loyalty to Shifu. "I guess I thought eating tofu for a week or more would be punishment enough for you," she responded with what she thought was a clever remark. Po's face turned up in somewhat disgust at the prospect and he eyed her incredulously. "Yes, tofu. You heard the Soothsayer. Nothing hot, like noodles and nothing big. Tofu can be neither. Unless you'd prefer energy juice," she smirked as he rolled his eyes and hunched his shoulders in defeat. "Oh, come on, Dragon Warrior. It'll be over before you know it."

Of course, now that Tigress seemed to have an upper hand, something she definitely enjoyed having, Po knew there was no way it would go by as fast as she promised. He looked at her and shook his head. One part of him was genuinely happy to see Tigress thoroughly amused for a change. And there was the fact that she hadn't shamed him in front of the others with how his "brilliant plan" hadn't been so brilliant. But there was hardly anything overly friendly in that smirk of hers. At least, it didn't feel that way at the moment. He was almost on the verge of opening his mouth to try to force something, anything, out regardless of his condition when the door to the kitchen opened.

Po and Tigress immediately looked to see Shifu standing alone in the doorway. "It seems two of my pupils have learned valuable lessons today," his low voice was a mixture of something between stern and bemused.

Po and Tigress exchanged glances before Tigress spoke for the both of them, "Master?"

"She that prizes friendship, even in secret, is wise." Suddenly there was a flash of white and orange as Shifu disappeared and reappeared in the doorway. "He that eats uncooked rice and drinks boiling water…" he paused as Tigress and Po looked down to see the empty bag the rice had been in setting on the table "…is not so wise." The two looked at each other in surprise before looking back to the door, but of course, Shifu was already gone.


The End

Summary - If this was a brilliant plan, then for everyone's sake, Tigress hoped future plans would be less brilliant. Makes no sense unless you've watched the sequel and my A/N contains sequel spoilers. Please don't read A/N until after reading the story :3

A/N: Okay, so after watching the epic KFP 2, I just couldn't resist. One of my absolute, I mean ABSOLUTE favorite moments of dialogue in the whole film is when Tigress leans over and whispers to Po that she hopes his plan is better than the time he tried to cook rice in his stomach. His face is just priceless right before he says, "This plan's nothing like that plan." Maybe it's the shipper in me, but that scene is actually as ridiculously cute as it is funny (for way too many over-analytical reasons to name).

I just had to make a oneshot about the backstory of Tigress' comment. And it made sense to me to make this sort of like their little secret (well, almost, lol because Shifu is just too smart ;D). I mean, just the way Po looks in the movie, and given Po and Tigress friendship that had to grow prior, it just made sense to me that maybe Tigress was the only one who knew about it. So that's how I came about with this interpretation of what might have gone down :)

I added the tofu thing since Tigress' favorite food is supposed to be Tofu...and of course Mr. Ping loves it too, so for some reason no matter how much Po loves food, I can just imagine that tofu might be one of Po's least favorite foods. The whole opposites thing ya know?

Anyways, my apologies if anyone (esp. Tigress) seemed out of character. I wrote this pretty fast and I might have a different perspective of Tigress than others. You see, I find Tigress to be subtly flirtatious (just naturally, not necessarily on purpose). I think it's just the feline thing in her. I kept thinking of in the first film when she sort of mocks Po with the thing about the universe juice, but does so with a smirk. Or in the second film when she jumps off the top of the boat and gives her line about how she's a more worthy opponent. She definitely knows how to be playful, I think...when she feels like it of course. Because, it's Tigress and well, it has to be on her terms.

Okay, wow, did NOT mean to ramble like that :3 Oh and it's not the same Soothsayer from the film, but a different one.
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TheTopTier's avatar

I think it was very much in character. She does play around and all that, just in a dryer, somewhat more subtle way.